BLESS YOURSELF BY BLESSING OTHERS FIRST
I felt compelled to write this, hoping others can learn this “key to life” long before I did. The sooner you truly understand it, and most importantly implement it, the happier you will be.
There was a time in my life when I felt the world — no, the universe —revolved around me, what I said, and what I did. Long before any social media, I had my own network of people that spread the news quickly, if I wanted. I did well in high school, was voted class vice president, excelled in tennis, and was “one of the guys.”
It was a time for me to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and people followed. It was the Ron Kern Show, I thought. My mother had raised me with this gem of advice: “Be kind to others, no matter who they are; you haven't walked in their shoes.” And in those glory days, there were glimmers of me remembering this wisdom; however, it wasn't consistent.
As I continued into the business world, I did well with one of my first jobs and climbed the ladder quickly. After a year of winning many awards, even breaking company records, my office became a Ron Kern shrine, complete with plaques, magazine articles, and photographs with top executives, all screaming, “Look at me, I'm so important!”
Looking back, it's embarrassing, but at the time those awards provided me with self-validation every time I walked in my office. How smart my mom was. I wish my actions would have matched her words and teaching earlier in my life.
In 2013, my very successful business came to a point where I had lost my passion for it, and we had the opportunity of a buyer who was interested. My wife and I agreed it was time to move on. However, I was unsure of what I would do with the label of “retired” at the ripe old age of 44. This should have been a time for celebration — we had finally made it! But Satan worked on me in his usual ways and enveloped me in darkness.
Uncertainty echoed repeatedly in my head: “What are you going to do now? What importance do you have? You know you have lost your identity, don’t you? You have lost your power, you know. You aren’t CEO and don't even hold any position or title.”
I didn’t have answers to these questions, which fueled my doubts, fears, and anxieties. I was not in a good place.
After several weeks of this, I reached a breaking point. One day while driving home from work, I prayed to God: “Heavenly Father, I thank You for all You have done. However, I ask that You use me or take me. Should You take me, I’ll be with my mother and others, but more importantly be at Your feet worshiping and enjoying the glory of God.”
I continued out loud and alone in my car. “If You choose to use me, I am all in with all the chips on the table; use me when and where You want, no limitations, no restrictions. I will obey and do Your will as You direct me, with Your help.”
In reading this prayer, I cannot stress the importance and seriousness of it. This isn’t something you pray lightly or casually, and if your heart and meaning behind it isn’t truth, don’t pray it. My prayer was said with vigor, truth, and sincerity; I meant every single word. In surrendering, truly surrendering to God, I put myself second and Him first. I gave up my attempt at control. I made myself vulnerable, open, and available to Him, even more than I already was. This is a critical step to truly finding the real you, your passion, being blessed, and blessing others.
After my prayer, I arrived home and honestly felt like my mind, spirit, and soul had gone through a car wash. I felt clean, alive, rejuvenated, and the darkness was gone. Trust me, it wasn’t mind over matter, faking it, or positive thinking. It was God blessing me, and He knew I had become a 100 percent servant. God has now used me in ways that I never could have imagined. God’s grace is not only hard to comprehend, but even harder to put into words. If you have experienced it, you know what I am talking about.
I have experienced exponential growth personally since I have taken the focus away from myself and now focus on helping and lifting up others. I finally discovered that true joy comes when you can abandon a life of self-centeredness. When you surrender your life to God, and ask Him for direction and favor — and you are sincere — be prepared for something incredible.
The Bible makes many references to the importance of helping others, and some of these I want to share.
“And he sat down and called the Twelve. And he said to them, 'If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.'” (Mark 9:35)
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13)
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
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| Where can you lend a helping hand? |
My life now
It has been a year since we sold our business, and here is what my life looks like now. I am traveling around the country to forge partnerships with communities and schools to impact youth and adult leadership for positive growth. My wife and I have formed a 501c(3) nonprofit ministry to assist families and especially children in less fortunate countries with educational resources and life’s essentials. My first book will be released in November and is aimed at helping people pursue a career in what they have a passion for; I enjoy working with people in business and personal development.
God has blessed me so abundantly and has enhanced my ability to help, lift up, encourage and teach others, and I feel that more has been accomplished in the last eight months than in 20 years of being “in business.” I want to make it exceptionally clear that I give Him all of the praise and credit.
I am imperfect, have many flaws, and will slip and fall as I move forward, just as I have in the past. But I also know and live by the principle, “If you are being blessed, it’s so you can be a blessing for others.” We have been abundantly blessed, and it is our joy to share that with others.
Do you want to experience life, as you may have never had it before? Do you want to feel more alive? Would you like to have more joy? Do you want to see the world through the lens of God rather than your own blind eyes? I pray that you consider starting by being a blessing to others, without expecting anything in return, and give God the credit.
The small blessings are just as important as the large ones. Let someone go first, even though you arrived at the four-way stop first. Smile at someone instead of ignoring them. Take time to actively listen to your family, friends and co-workers. Help a neighbor, donate an old coat, volunteer, don’t gossip, lift others up. There are endless ways to be a blessing that do not even involve financial commitment.
You see, life isn’t about me, it’s about others. Life isn’t about material things, accolades, fame or fortune. It’s about sharing your blessings. He will provide you with the resources, the right people, and the right time to bless others.
Jesus instructs us to live this way: “'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NLT)
God smiles when you help His children. God smiles when you are kind, loving, patient and helpful. God continues to bless His faithful servants, so stay the course.
What are you going to do today, this week, or the rest of this year to be a blessing to others? If you would love to start this incredible journey after prayer, or you are ready now but not sure where to start, or feel you can’t do it alone, here’s a thought. How wonderful would it be if all readers of this article got together and brainstormed on how, as a group, we could collectively be a blessing?
I am hopeful others will take the time to come forward, engage, bless others, and then receive your blessing.
A former business owner in Meridian for more than 20 years, Ronald Kern and his wife, Lisa, are now retired. Ronald Kern is an entrepreneur, business and life consultant, author, motivational speaker and philanthropist. Contact him anytime at www.mypassioninaction.com.
Originally published in Christian Living Magazine, 2014, on Ron's Column "The Brighter Side."
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